I found out that somebody was saying some pretty bad things about me. At first I got angry. I asked a friend for advice and he told me this story:

‘Once a man came to Hassan rahmatullahi alayh and informed him that someone was backbiting him. The informer expected Hassan al Bisri rahmatullahi alayh to get upset and say a few negative words about the individual who had backbitten him. But to the man’s surprise, he got up, prepared some gifts for the person and told the informer to give these gifts to him and tell him ‘I learned that you sent me some of your good rewards to me as a gift by backbiting me. I cannot repay you in the same way; however, please accept this offer of worldly gifts in return of your kindness towards me.’

 
We should deal with backbiting in the same manner. I know its difficult. If it was made easy. It would not be much of a test now would it. 

 Steps you can take:
1. Change positions, or leave for a few minutes if you are angry.
2. Make du’aa and pray for that person because they are endangering their akhira. (life after death)
3.  Be patient and calm.
4. Buy something for that person (I’d get a chocolate bar)
5. If you feel you can speak to them about it, then do so. You can take somebody with you if it helps. If not, email them or write them a letter but talk it out.
6. Have nothing against them in your heart.
7. Don’t speak ill of them even if what you are saying is true.
8. When you see them, greet them with a smile. 

Now nobody is saying you have to be best friends with them but make sure you’ve forgiven them. Have nothing against them. If they have something against you, you’ll know you did your part. Don’t leave room for regret. Always remember that life is way too short to hold grudges and the one who is patient and controls his or her anger is rewarded for it.